On this, the nation's 232nd birthday, I celebrate my independence from the tyranny of technology. That's right, my Motorola RAZR V3 has finally been retired from active duty, after more than two years of service. The praises of the elegant first-gen RAZR have been sung far and wide. And with more than 50 million units sold worldwide since its introduction in the fall of 2005, it's one of the top selling phones of all time. I certainly had no complaints. Nor do I fault the device for finally succumbing to a lifetime of being dropped on hardwood floors, concrete sidewalks and charming cobblestone streets. It was durable, to a point. And then it wasn't, as you can see in the graphic photo above (I call the final result "cellular division").

So, for the past two days I've been without a cell phone. And to tell you the truth, I'm happy to be relatively unreachable. I'm not that popular, mind you, but the silence has been refreshing. So refreshing, in fact, that I've decided take a vow of Ludditism....until I break down and buy a new 3G Apple iPhone, which quietly rolls out at the end of next week.

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The TSA is rolling out its latest tool in the ongoing effort to make airport security more time consuming and increasingly pervy: Scanners that see through clothing. Hmm. Sounds suspiciously like those old X-Ray Spex that used to be advertised in the back of Richie Rich comics, along with onion-flavored prank gum and sea monkeys.

Will those noble souls who operate the scanners be able to see their subject's junk? In a word, yes. But, the TSA cautions in a press release, the "passengers face will be blurred." Phew. All of this raises the inevitable question of whether there will now be a rash of "hotness profiling" at airports across this great nation.

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I've long pondered the reasons why hockey is relegated to a lowly position as America's fourth sport (in terms of fan interest, media coverage and player salaries), behind football, basketball and baseball. Part of this lies with the fact that if you didn't grow up with the sport, it's "hard" to grasp as an adult. Too much speed, too small an object to try to follow with the naked eye, too many European names. It doesn't draw a huge fan base, so the money just doesn't follow.

But for those of us who come from an Original Six town, where hockey is a lifeblood and where pond versions of the sport formed an integral part of our wintertime activities, there is no better spectacle of sport than the Stanley Cup finals, especially when your team wins. So we take a moment here to hail the Detroit Red Wings, who captured their fourth Cup in eleven years. If ever there was a broken down city that needed the civic boost that comes with a world championship, it is present day Detroit.

Bless you, boys.

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It's a journalistic cliche as old as journalism itself: if dog bites a man, it's not news. But if a man bites a dog, well...it's FOX news, at the very least. In this case a 38-year-old Minnesota woman bit a Pit Bull on the nose after it jumped a fence, landed in her yard and started attacking her Labrador Retriever. As the owner of a 2 year old Lab (yes, that's her above), I can't say I wouldn't have tried everything possible to save my dog, but putting your face that close to the locking jaws of an angry Pit....that's devotion.

The Lab is recovering and the Pit is being tested (for rabies, etc.). No word on the attacking dog's fate, but I for one hope they don't have to destroy him. In terms of media analysis, at least the piece didn't stoop to use the phrase "dog eat dog."

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According to George W. Bush, the United States is NOT headed into a recession. His word should, of course, be enough to assuage any lingering fears, economic indicators be damned.

Bush made this proclamation today at a press conference, where he seemed a bit startled to learn that gas prices had gotten so darn high. Inspiring confidence and giving off an air of presidential fortitude, just like always.

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